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Roadkill Supper Club

An evening of cuisine with a conscience in London tonight. What they lack in height they make up in width.

It’s a kind of drive though restaurant, and the only place in town where a surprised hedgehog becomes the hedgehog surprise! Menu subject to change, for the full rundown, click the link below.

http://uk.funzing.com/funz/roadkill-supper-club-9878#see-more

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Chuck Berry

This recipe started out as Sympathy For The Breville – but then it hit a bit of a snag in that I don’t have any bread, any cheese, nor a snack and sandwich toaster to hand. It’s early spring and the brambles are scarce, so the evening’s recipe turned into a late night fruit hunting session.

The benefit of foraging for fruit in an urban environment is that it’s much more civilised; if you look round Soho you may even find a Bohemian Raspberry. The trouble is it’s dark and some of the fruit is toxic, particularly the holly plant which causes nausea and sickness – causing you to Chuck Berry all over the garden.

Find some raspberries. Wash them under a tap

Boil in a saucepan with a quarter cup of honey, a half cup of water, a squeezed orange and grate some of the peel in it too

Boil like for a minute, simmer for 15 mins after. Cool it down.

H/t: Image courtesy of chuckberry.com.

 

 

 

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Man Eats KFC Candle For Light Snack

A fairly fat guy in New Zealand has eaten a candle for charity. He said it tasted just like KFC. Here’s the video.

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Vanilla Ice On The Menu

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The King And Pie

Elvis

Elvis liked his dinner. Lots of other stars liked food as well, sometimes having favourites!

Who would have guessed that John Lennon liked Jaffa Cakes so much he ate them regularly for a week! Or a classy lad like Noel Gallagher liked Pot Noodles?

But what did Bowie like to eat with a glass of milk? Just like Buzzfeed click the article link to find out…

Bowie’s dietary habits

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Snowden The Hole

SnowdenThis is a companion dish to Julian Lasagne, although the two are very rarely seen in the same room. I wasn’t going to divulge the recipe for this as, well… it does utilise my own special secret mixture of herbs and spices which gives a unique tinge to the batter. But what are a few ingredients between friends?

There are rumours it’s been enjoyed in a number of intelligence agencies due to a backdoor in the recipe, so I’ve blown my own whistle on this one. Eating this could very well help with transit… possibly a bit too well. Cook thoroughly, or you’ll be making more unscheduled stops than the Bolivian president’s jet.

snowden-quote

The recipe is as follows:

Find some pork sausages, plenty of them, reduced to clear of course,

Normally you would put these in a casserole dish and just bake, but I decided to scorch them first in a pan

My batter wasn’t great, but ideally you should whisk together eggs, flour and milk so it’s fairly smooth. Mine looked like a snowdrift in a Siberian sausage factory

Place the sausages in the casserole dish, three-quarter cover in batter and heat at 220C for half an hour. You may notice that the sausages are all tied together; ideally separate them before you start baking.

Rage Cuisine Tip:

Mount Snowdon used to be a hill in Wales; now it’s a honey trap operation. Always take care with your sausage.

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Cornelius Rooster Drops Right Wing

breibert-kelloggs

 

Kellogg’s, famous for its multicoloured cornflake rooster, has ceased to advertise on Breibart, following a number of controversial articles such as “Would You Rather Your Child Had Feminism Or Cancer?”.

Breibart have responded with a stream of rhetoric, calling the move “an escalation in the war by leftist companies”, in order to “placate left-wing totalitarians.”

Alexander Marlow, editor in chief, added, “If you serve Kellogg’s products to your family, you are serving up bigotry at your breakfast table.”

The relationship has certainly become Frostie.

Whereas Kellogg’s may well find themselves boycotted, I feel their stance is worth supporting. Just Right is surely easier to stomach that Alt-Right. Breibart could do with a kick in the crunchy nuts. Link to Guardian article.

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Anchovy In The UK

 

anchovie-in-the-uk

This was a kind of botched British tapas; a melange of anchovy, chicken stew, tuna, fried chicken wings and soft cheese triangles, thrown together like a 70’s punk band; without any thought for good taste.

The anchovy is a strange fish, one of the few fish to become a pizza topping. A highly scented sprat that comes in a jar. Just tip them on a plate and they’re done.

anchovie-ukThe chicken stew was just thigh with the skin pulled off and slow cooked in some water with herbs in it. I opened and added some chopped mixed stew vegetables. It turned out more of a broth and no-one ate it. Not exactly finger food.

The best was Joe’s sizzling tuna, the recipe for this is on the site somewhere.

If punk is the tapas of the urban guerrilla, this is the best fish since Sild Vicious.

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Never Mind The Pollocks

never-mind-the-pollocks

First of all you’ve got to be hungry enough to open up the bag of pollocks that’s been festering in the freezer.

Pour milk into a saucepan, enough to cover the fish

Top up whatever milk you don’t have with water and bring to a simmer

Put a couple of frozen cubes of spinach into the milk and defrost

Cut an onion up into little bits and add

Place a jacket potato in the microwave and blast on full power for 6 minutes

Whilst this is microwaving, tip the pollock in the pan.

If it doesn’t fit, it snaps easily by the way

Stir it all round until it seems cooked, the pollock bag I bought suggested 6 minutes

Add herbs and such like to taste

john-lyndon

Add Country Life butter (of course) to the potato and serve alongside fish.

Rage Cuisine Tip:

Never mind the pollocks. God save the bream.

 

Pollock bag image spotted by Mr I. Seale Esq in Southend News Network

Image of John Lyndon from Country Life Ad. Possibly not a public image. No infringement intended.

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Number 16 Is Slightly Related To Food.

Whoever thought of the idea of combining images of the British countryside with capitalised vulgarities was surely onto a winner.

I would have preferred a smaller and more exclusive list, 98 in particular is not in common parlance and I suspect they just made it up.

Rude link.

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Is this fruitcake going to the White House?

Donald Trump Fruitcake

A half baked likeness of The Donald, or a Penn and Teller trick gone wrong? Where is this mysterious cake on casters heading tonight?

They seek him high and they seek him low. But Donald, where’s your trousers?

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Equal Rights For Cake

bert-cake

The Christian owners of a Northern Ireland bakery have lost their appeal against a ruling that their refusal to make a “gay cake” was discriminatory.

The proposed cake in question was considered gay as it included the word ‘gay’ on the top. The cake itself was gender neutral.

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Marmitegate Row Spreads!

H/t Marmite jar thanks to www.filmandfodder.com

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Rage Against Jamie’s Paella

fresco

According to media reports, Mr Oliver stuck his highly-spiced paprika sausage where it wasn’t welcome – in Spain’s national dish!

This follows another international gaffe when he inserted a lemon wedge into a west African rice dish, causing one commentator’s soul to hurt.

Rage against Paella @jamieoliver.

Follow the link for the full article. www.theguardian.com/world/2016/oct/04/jamie-olivers-paella-chorizo-brings-fractured-spain-together-against-him

H/t Comparrison of Oliver’s Paella to restoration of fresco of Christ by @churreznos

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Too Good To Go In The Skip

too-good-to-go

210,000 tonnes of restaurant food thrown away annually in the UK. Too Good To Go is like Tinder for reduced to clear meals! Here’s the article:

http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/too-good-to-go-meet-the-app-creators-that-are-helping-london-restaurants-to-cut-down-on-waste-a3359626.html

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Dr Joe’s Sizzling Tuna Party Pan

sizzling-tunaHad this one last night, sizzling tuna served in a saucepan.

Saute onion in butter, add tuna, black pepper, red chilli powder, garlic powder, garlic paste and some hot chilli sauce.

When the butter is getting dry put an egg in the middle, wait will the sides of the egg turn white but the yolk is still raw, and mix it all together. Add one fork per person and serve with Glen Morangie.

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The Great Avocado Heist – Kiwis Dip Into Crime!

avo

New Zealand has been hit by a wave of avocado thefts this year after a poor growing season. The increased popularity of these fruits have driven up the price of a single avocado to about CDN$3.50-5.50 (NZ$4-6 each), according to a report in The Guardian. The stolen fruit is reportedly being sold at local markets, but orchards have started upping security to thwart thieves. For the time being, law-abiding Kiwis will have to either cut back on guac and avo toast they’re consuming and Instagramming, or shell out more green for their avos.

Other burglary related food capers…

Maple Syrup
The elaborate heist of approximately $18 million worth of maple syrup in Quebec in 2011-12 stuck with Canucks. Eventually 26 people were arrested in relation to the crime, according to Global News. At one point Jason Segel was reportedly set to star in a Hollywood comedy based on what’s been dubbed the Great Maple Syrup Caper. Alas, Segel’s IMDB page does not list any syrup-related projects, leaving things open for CBC to a do a movie-of-the-week version with one of the Canadian Ryans (Gosling or Reynolds), mais non?

Nutella
People are rightfully nuts about Nutella. Thieves in Germany made off with five metric tons of the yummy hazelnut-chocolate spread back in 2013. At the time, there was no word on what the thieves planned to do with approximately $20,000 worth of the gooey stuff. One can only assume the thieves had a crepe, banana and Nutella celebratory meal after pulling off the heist, then reluctantly sold the remaining tubs on the black market.

H/t Metronews.ca and Entertainmentearth.com

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Eston Blooming Phall

Eston blooming phall, is a rather hot curry served in the mysterious foothills of Eston not far from the enigmatic remains of the ski- village.

Fry up a lot of chopped chicken breast, onions, ginger and garlic

Make a paste with cumin, chilli and garam masala and add to the pan

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Skate Middleton

 

It’s not every day that you try to combine a fairly robust fish recipe with a princess, especially one who’s in line to eventually assume the highest perch in the land.

This skate is formerly of a Scottish school, is noted for its distinctive crown, and is a fish fit for a king. Long may she ray’n.

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Buy one get one free!

sainsburys piss

 

Am wondering if photographing supermarket displays and adding vulgarities is the new Banksy? This one’s tickled quite a few people… linky

Link provided courtesy of  Mr Ian S.

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Available on Amazon

@RageCuisine

- September 12, 2017, 3:17 pm

RT @andreagrimes: i was going to stop drinking wine and go to sleep like a real adult but I see there are many hours of Ted Cruz jokes to R…

- July 31, 2017, 6:53 pm

RT @BBCBreaking: White House communications chief Anthony Scaramucci removed from post after 10 days, US media report https://t.co/pIEklyRR

- May 19, 2017, 4:57 pm

Julian Lasagne https://t.co/1x0PMFhBY4 Why wait for the expiration of an European Arrest Warrant to enjoy this clas… https://t.co/XEk4qMF4WY
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